And the final score...

This post was copied from our old blog, where it was written in October 2013.

TEAM PINK: 5
TEAM BLUE: 1

We are thrilled to announce that we are officially expecting a new baby girl! We accepted a referral for a 15 month old girl at the end of September. In an crazy twist of fate, we've been staring at her photo since April. Our agency had partnered with her orphanage and some of the staff traveled to meet the children available for adoption in February 2013. They put together a slideshow of the kids they met and sent it out in April. Our girl's face was the first in the slideshow. The moment I saw her eyes, I felt them staring into my soul all the way from China.

See?

I thought of and stared at this mystery child for months and on September 27, we got the call referring this same exact precious baby to us! We received updated photos in October. Here she is at 15 months. Can you even stand it?

She has unrepaired cleft lip and palate. Sometimes children with this issue will get their lip repaired in China, and sometimes not. We are hoping that she doesn't get it repaired there because it would be great to have all her surgeries done by one craniofacial team here in the US. And also, I can't help but worry about how awful it is for the kids who have these painful surgeries in China and have to go through it all alone. I'm actually trying to avoid thinking about that possiblity at all.

While I'm here, here are the answers to some of the questions we're frequently asked:

Why are you adopting internationally instead of domestically? 
When we first decided to adopt in 2006, we researched every option. Domestic adoption didn't fit us for many reasons, the main ones being we had a biological child already (less chance of being chosen by a birthmother) and the uncertainty of the process. The laws in the US are written to protect biological relationships. So if a birthparent gives up a child due to turbulent circumstances, but then later gets his/her life back together and wants the child back, the US laws will ensure they get him/her back. We were not strong enough to be able to handle that uncertainty, especially with Gianna in the mix. I know that personally, I would have lived, breathed, slept and dreamt the unexpected phone call in that scenario. So we opted for international adoption. And once our eyes were opened to the horrors orphans in other countries face, we never looked back.

Why China?
In response to the question "Why China?", well, the simple answer is because China is where our daughter is. China has a very straightforward and predictable adoption process. China is also a signed party of the Hague Convention, which for all its faults, does help to ensure that the children available for adoption are there legitimately, and weren't taken from their birth families through unscrupulous means. As a bonus, we've been through China's process and they are supportive of adoption of children with special needs. The in-country timelines are super accurate and this is something we need to rely on since we will all be traveling this time. And if we needed more reasons, China is gorgeous and we feel very lucky to be able to travel there again.

Why special needs (again)?
I understand that 99% of the people who ask this are doing so with Gianna, Camille and Evie in mind. Why adopt another child with more special needs when you've got 3 children already, 2 with major needs? We've also been asked why adopt again at all? I guess it's hard to peer into our minds, but for us, this is a no brainer. For us, the question is actually: Why not? I am a stay at home Mom. I've never failed to appreciate how fortunate I am to be able to do so. Because of my situation, I have the time to invest in caring for extra needs. Endless therapies, medical equipment, special education, fighting for medical treatment--I'm on it! It's my job and I love it. My girls inspire me every single day to try to be a better person. Just the other day, (before she knew anything), I was talking with Gianna about the very real possibility of adopting a child with a significant facial deformity. With zero hesitation, she commented, "Mom, I don't even care what my new brother or sister looks like. The only problem that will bother me is if someone makes fun of them!" When the seeds of compassion are planted in the hearts of young children, it is the most beautiful thing.

How in the name of ... are you affording 3 adoptions in 6 years? 
I'm actually not offended by this question as I know many in the adoptive community are. It is personal, but many people ask this in complete sincerity, as finances are listed as the #1 obstacle for people who want to adopt. So I have no problem answering it if it might help another family take the leap. We are a 1 income family living in California and we haven't won the lottery yet, so for us, it all comes down to prioritizing like crazy. The choices of what to invest in are endless: A new kitchen? Bathrooms without endless lines of grout? Cars that aren't from the last decade? Appliances that aren't purchased off Craigslist and that come with all the bells and whistles (like receipts and warranties)? Updated wardrobes (certainly no one has noticed yet that Nathan's and my wardrobes are more relevant to the late 90s than anytime in this millenium)? Trips to new destinations? While I would love to indulge in any/all of the above (and can I throw lipo onto the list?), we've decided these items are in no way essential to our family's long term happiness.   At the end of the day, I guess it boils down to the fact that we don't particularly care for "things".  So we make a trade-off; it's not actually that we are affording these adoptions, it is that we are NOT affording other things that mean less to us personally. The average international adoption is terrifyingly costly, but there are things to help offset that cost. We have the US tax credit and various grants and loans we can apply for. Basically, like all the best things in life, it comes down to a huge leap of faith. Once the decision has been made, things have always worked out for us. I can recount numerous stories, but from this adoption alone: We made the decision to adopt on a Sunday night. On Monday, Nathan got a raise AND learned that he qualifies for adoption benefits from his employer. With that, a little portion of the costs were taken care of. It is terrifying to step out onto that wobbly branch with hope, not sure how hard or easy financially things will be. The only thing we've ever been confident of is that in the end, everything will be worth whatever the cost. Looking at our girls' faces everyday is a tangible reminder of this fact. 

Thank you for following on our journey! We anticipate travel will happen in 5-6 months.